I wasn't hearing things...I did, in fact, need open heart surgery to repair the aneurysm...gosh, even the word sounded horrible. We learned about aneurysms...usually in the brain though...patient comes in with a blown pupil and an eye that is down and out - OH NO - OCULAR EMERGENCY...but what about an aortic aneurysm...isn't that an emergency?!? The complications of not undergoing surgery were apparent; I was smart enough to know what the outcome would be...aortic dissection and ultimately death...just not what I expected at 930am on the 6th of July.
Dr. Shapiro wanted me to make an appointment with the surgeon...that day....and I thought I would head across the street to the hospital and make the appointment in person. It was only the third time I was ever in Abington Hospital - the first was to visit a friend on the hospital and the second was in the ER. I had no idea where to go...I was looking for the Porter Institute for Valvular Disease. After getting off the elevator I made a left and was met with a huge sign on the check-in desk that said "Dr. V. Paul Addonizio: Best Cardiac Surgeon in the State of Pennsylvania." Hmm...I thought to myself...guess this is the place...
The air smelled of candy...like really sweet candy. The kind you would get at a small town fair - you know those...traveling town fairs, rides that your parents think you shouldn't go on but you still do....those kinds...I was greeted by a really nice lady who offered me some of that candy - I choose the butterscotch, I always liked that flavor. I made an appointment for the 27th of July, but later was informed that Dr. Shapiro wanted me to be seen THAT DAY. The butterscotch lady told me it would be awhile and then she did it....she reached down and grabbed the RED FOLDER..."here is some reading material for you while you wait." I opened up the folder and there it was...in black and white...."Your Guide to Open Heart Surgery."
WOW! Now, just picture this...Beethoven's Fifth playing in the background, soft, but loud enough that you couldn't fall asleep, the sweet smell of candy, a blubbering fish tank attempting to calm your fears so your aneursym doesn't rupture in the surgeon's office and photos...lots of them. Photos of others that had gone before; lives Dr. Addonizio saved...smiles and laughter all over. I sat down not for awhile, but for a HELL OF A LONG TIME...hours seemed like days...and I sat there. Reading and re-reading my open heart surgery guide - reading articles of other individuals who underwent the same procedure I was about to have done...young people, old people, middle-aged people - all smiles and all boasting on the incredible job of Dr. Addonizio...who was this man? Who was the man whose hands I am literally putting my life into?
There was a total of about 2 people in the waiting room...gosh, what was taking so long? I had been texting BKP back and forth...I knew my parents and godparents had arrived, and I was apologizing for taking so long...."so sorry I am taking so long...just waiting to be seen by a cardiac surgeon for open heart surgery...hope to be home soon." BKP was my sounding board through all of this..."i am scared" I wrote - a text back, "don't worry...you are strong and you can get through this." Hmm...I have gotten through a lot of stuff in my life; obstacles, academics, rotations, wack job encounters with people, but this...this was gonna be a tough one...I looked at my phone...I had been there for three hours...I was filled up on butterscoth candies and could see the open heart surgery guide with my eyes closed...then, it happened..."Melissa Trego?"
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
I am sorry...what did you say?!?
Ok - so...as I said, July 6th of 2009 was a life-changer for me. Most of 2009 had been pretty awesome for me - defended my PhD back in the United Kingdom, lectured internationally and got a chance to travel to some pretty sweet places, and of course, bought my first home. Yet, if I am truly honest with myself, I really had not felt up to par since January. I was tired, felt some funny palpitations, was a bit out of breath while walking Raj, and had a funny pain in my chest. Actually, it was like a weird, annoying pain in my left boob - kind of like the underwires of my bra were a bit off in keeping up the girls. I was traveling a lot, so of course I was tired...I had been out of shape, packed on a few pounds, so of course I was out of breath. Palpitations? Well those were from my stress levels - buying your first home, getting all of your lectures together, taking Viktor back to Austria to see his family after 30+ years - who wouldn't be stressed out? But at the back of my head, it was a constant thought..."hey, you really should get your heart checked out...it has been awhile..."
And awhile it was....almost 12 years! So WAY BACK, vintage 1977-78, when I was developing in Lucy's lovely tummy around 4 months or so, my aortic valve didn't quite develop right...actually both my aortic valve and a portion of the ascending aortic root. I was born with a biscupid aortic valve rather than a tricuspid aortic valve - or another way (according to my surgeon Dr. V. Paul Addonizio) - most people are born with a Mercedes symbol. My whole life (at least up to 19 years of age), I was checked annually....echocardiograms, EKGs, stress tests and always the response was the same, "looks good, no change, no restrictions." My parents never made it an issue - I was never told to slow it down, be careful, don't lift air conditioners or pick up trucks, you know, stuff like that...I never felt I was different or was supposed to be careful.
Fast forward to May 2009 - BKP graduated, the Patel's were in for the celebration and they gave her a Wii Fit...we all gave it a try and I thought I would try out the running...I did it and enjoyed seeing the other Wii people turn around and look at me like, "hurry up fat ass...I am beating you!" I ran the whole two minutes or so, but that funny underwire pain came back...and this time it scared me. I didn't say anything, just sat down, caught my breath and wondered what it was. It wasn't a horrible pain, it was a dull, different pain. I decided to head into the ER on a Thursday morning...had a full cardiac work-up and had a cardio consult with the lovely Dr. Scott Shapiro...he told me that my aortic valve looked pretty dilated, a common association with a bicuspid valve. To make sure there wasn't an aortic dissection, he wanted to do a CT scan with dye to better visualize it - I did it and apparently all was well. I was told to head home and make a follow-up appt with Dr. Shapiro in about 6 weeks.
SO in that 6 weeks, I traveled to Switzertland with BKP and DKP to lecture. While there we hit Germany, Italy, and most of the Swiss countryside. We returned home and moved into the new house...all was complete and then I was scheduled to see Dr. Shapiro on the 6th of July for a follow-up from the ER visit. My parents and godparents were heading in for the day to visit the new house and grab some good food...I left in the AM, telling BKP that I would be back in about 15 minutes...should be quick.
15 minutes it was not...Dr. Shapiro informed me that my ascending aorta was VERY dilated. Normal diameter of the ascending aortic root is about 2.3 or 2.4cm....mine was 5.6cm...more than doubled what it should be. I couldn't believe it! I felt fine...this isn't happening to me...it can't be! I am 31 years old...I am just getting ready to finally start my life...I am out of school, I have completed all of my degrees to fully qualify me as an educated idiot...but this is insane...it can't be real.
I know what it feels like when you are told something you were not expecting...he told me surgery was necessary and fairly soon. What type? Open heart....you know the kind older people sometimes get...train track scars down your chest, broken sternum...too much...my face got really warm...I was listening, but I really wasn't - it was almost like I went into auto pilot mode...Dr. Shapiro was talking to me, but I really didn't hear him and I didn't really want to. Small snip-its would pop into head - "no surgery, likely possibility of sudden death," "different options...tissue valve versus mechanical," "blood thinners, no children," "tissue valve, limited lifespan," - the poor man...he was talking and I was looking at him, but I just couldn't process it...he looked at me, "any questions?"...I looked at him, "I am sorry....what did you just say?"
And awhile it was....almost 12 years! So WAY BACK, vintage 1977-78, when I was developing in Lucy's lovely tummy around 4 months or so, my aortic valve didn't quite develop right...actually both my aortic valve and a portion of the ascending aortic root. I was born with a biscupid aortic valve rather than a tricuspid aortic valve - or another way (according to my surgeon Dr. V. Paul Addonizio) - most people are born with a Mercedes symbol. My whole life (at least up to 19 years of age), I was checked annually....echocardiograms, EKGs, stress tests and always the response was the same, "looks good, no change, no restrictions." My parents never made it an issue - I was never told to slow it down, be careful, don't lift air conditioners or pick up trucks, you know, stuff like that...I never felt I was different or was supposed to be careful.
Fast forward to May 2009 - BKP graduated, the Patel's were in for the celebration and they gave her a Wii Fit...we all gave it a try and I thought I would try out the running...I did it and enjoyed seeing the other Wii people turn around and look at me like, "hurry up fat ass...I am beating you!" I ran the whole two minutes or so, but that funny underwire pain came back...and this time it scared me. I didn't say anything, just sat down, caught my breath and wondered what it was. It wasn't a horrible pain, it was a dull, different pain. I decided to head into the ER on a Thursday morning...had a full cardiac work-up and had a cardio consult with the lovely Dr. Scott Shapiro...he told me that my aortic valve looked pretty dilated, a common association with a bicuspid valve. To make sure there wasn't an aortic dissection, he wanted to do a CT scan with dye to better visualize it - I did it and apparently all was well. I was told to head home and make a follow-up appt with Dr. Shapiro in about 6 weeks.
SO in that 6 weeks, I traveled to Switzertland with BKP and DKP to lecture. While there we hit Germany, Italy, and most of the Swiss countryside. We returned home and moved into the new house...all was complete and then I was scheduled to see Dr. Shapiro on the 6th of July for a follow-up from the ER visit. My parents and godparents were heading in for the day to visit the new house and grab some good food...I left in the AM, telling BKP that I would be back in about 15 minutes...should be quick.
15 minutes it was not...Dr. Shapiro informed me that my ascending aorta was VERY dilated. Normal diameter of the ascending aortic root is about 2.3 or 2.4cm....mine was 5.6cm...more than doubled what it should be. I couldn't believe it! I felt fine...this isn't happening to me...it can't be! I am 31 years old...I am just getting ready to finally start my life...I am out of school, I have completed all of my degrees to fully qualify me as an educated idiot...but this is insane...it can't be real.
I know what it feels like when you are told something you were not expecting...he told me surgery was necessary and fairly soon. What type? Open heart....you know the kind older people sometimes get...train track scars down your chest, broken sternum...too much...my face got really warm...I was listening, but I really wasn't - it was almost like I went into auto pilot mode...Dr. Shapiro was talking to me, but I really didn't hear him and I didn't really want to. Small snip-its would pop into head - "no surgery, likely possibility of sudden death," "different options...tissue valve versus mechanical," "blood thinners, no children," "tissue valve, limited lifespan," - the poor man...he was talking and I was looking at him, but I just couldn't process it...he looked at me, "any questions?"...I looked at him, "I am sorry....what did you just say?"
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Zip this baby!
Right...so, this is my first attempt at blogging. I have friends that do it - I am noisy...I read their blogs and think, "wow - that is funny or interesting" but now the tables are turned. I have decided to embark on this blogging idea - not so much for everyone else, but rather for myself; some type of therapeutic exercise or something like that...hmm...so - where do I begin?
Officially July 6th forever changed me and those around me - so we could begin then. Ultimately July 31st truly changed me...July 31st I underwent open heart surgery...at 31...life can suck sometimes, eh? The good news is that things could not have gone better - I had a fantastic cardiologist, an unbelievable surgeon and an incredible support system - simply put, I am lucky in so many ways.
I had the surgery on the 31st and was home by the 4th of August - so now I have time...LOTS OF IT and thought that perhaps I could write a blog and give the true 'low down' on open heart surgery in your 30's...not that I am an expert, but let's just say I can proudly exclaim the phrase, "been there, done that, and have the scar to prove it!" I plan on writing about my experience, honestly and openly....believe me, when you are faced with such a major obstacle, it is good to hear different perspectives. I will talk openly about my fears, anxieties, recovery, good and bad times - I need to do this, not just for myself, but for other 30, 40 or 50 some year olds who are racking their brain trying to answer 'why me' or 'what did I do to deserve this?.'
Bottom line is this: no one deserves a lot of the crap that life surprises us with at times, but you know what, according to the lovely Natalie Merchant, "life is sweet, inspite of the misery, there's so much more to be grateful!" It is my intent to express that in this blog - although there will be some crappy blogs, ultimately there is so much to be grateful for.
So - in a nutshell - the title of my blog, "Zip This!" clearly describes the lovely scar you obtain from this crazy journey - let's give this blog thing a go....zip this baby!
Officially July 6th forever changed me and those around me - so we could begin then. Ultimately July 31st truly changed me...July 31st I underwent open heart surgery...at 31...life can suck sometimes, eh? The good news is that things could not have gone better - I had a fantastic cardiologist, an unbelievable surgeon and an incredible support system - simply put, I am lucky in so many ways.
I had the surgery on the 31st and was home by the 4th of August - so now I have time...LOTS OF IT and thought that perhaps I could write a blog and give the true 'low down' on open heart surgery in your 30's...not that I am an expert, but let's just say I can proudly exclaim the phrase, "been there, done that, and have the scar to prove it!" I plan on writing about my experience, honestly and openly....believe me, when you are faced with such a major obstacle, it is good to hear different perspectives. I will talk openly about my fears, anxieties, recovery, good and bad times - I need to do this, not just for myself, but for other 30, 40 or 50 some year olds who are racking their brain trying to answer 'why me' or 'what did I do to deserve this?.'
Bottom line is this: no one deserves a lot of the crap that life surprises us with at times, but you know what, according to the lovely Natalie Merchant, "life is sweet, inspite of the misery, there's so much more to be grateful!" It is my intent to express that in this blog - although there will be some crappy blogs, ultimately there is so much to be grateful for.
So - in a nutshell - the title of my blog, "Zip This!" clearly describes the lovely scar you obtain from this crazy journey - let's give this blog thing a go....zip this baby!
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