I am sorry...what did you say?!?

Ok - so...as I said, July 6th of 2009 was a life-changer for me. Most of 2009 had been pretty awesome for me - defended my PhD back in the United Kingdom, lectured internationally and got a chance to travel to some pretty sweet places, and of course, bought my first home. Yet, if I am truly honest with myself, I really had not felt up to par since January. I was tired, felt some funny palpitations, was a bit out of breath while walking Raj, and had a funny pain in my chest. Actually, it was like a weird, annoying pain in my left boob - kind of like the underwires of my bra were a bit off in keeping up the girls. I was traveling a lot, so of course I was tired...I had been out of shape, packed on a few pounds, so of course I was out of breath. Palpitations? Well those were from my stress levels - buying your first home, getting all of your lectures together, taking Viktor back to Austria to see his family after 30+ years - who wouldn't be stressed out? But at the back of my head, it was a constant thought..."hey, you really should get your heart checked out...it has been awhile..."

And awhile it was....almost 12 years! So WAY BACK, vintage 1977-78, when I was developing in Lucy's lovely tummy around 4 months or so, my aortic valve didn't quite develop right...actually both my aortic valve and a portion of the ascending aortic root. I was born with a biscupid aortic valve rather than a tricuspid aortic valve - or another way (according to my surgeon Dr. V. Paul Addonizio) - most people are born with a Mercedes symbol. My whole life (at least up to 19 years of age), I was checked annually....echocardiograms, EKGs, stress tests and always the response was the same, "looks good, no change, no restrictions." My parents never made it an issue - I was never told to slow it down, be careful, don't lift air conditioners or pick up trucks, you know, stuff like that...I never felt I was different or was supposed to be careful.

Fast forward to May 2009 - BKP graduated, the Patel's were in for the celebration and they gave her a Wii Fit...we all gave it a try and I thought I would try out the running...I did it and enjoyed seeing the other Wii people turn around and look at me like, "hurry up fat ass...I am beating you!" I ran the whole two minutes or so, but that funny underwire pain came back...and this time it scared me. I didn't say anything, just sat down, caught my breath and wondered what it was. It wasn't a horrible pain, it was a dull, different pain. I decided to head into the ER on a Thursday morning...had a full cardiac work-up and had a cardio consult with the lovely Dr. Scott Shapiro...he told me that my aortic valve looked pretty dilated, a common association with a bicuspid valve. To make sure there wasn't an aortic dissection, he wanted to do a CT scan with dye to better visualize it - I did it and apparently all was well. I was told to head home and make a follow-up appt with Dr. Shapiro in about 6 weeks.

SO in that 6 weeks, I traveled to Switzertland with BKP and DKP to lecture. While there we hit Germany, Italy, and most of the Swiss countryside. We returned home and moved into the new house...all was complete and then I was scheduled to see Dr. Shapiro on the 6th of July for a follow-up from the ER visit. My parents and godparents were heading in for the day to visit the new house and grab some good food...I left in the AM, telling BKP that I would be back in about 15 minutes...should be quick.

15 minutes it was not...Dr. Shapiro informed me that my ascending aorta was VERY dilated. Normal diameter of the ascending aortic root is about 2.3 or 2.4cm....mine was 5.6cm...more than doubled what it should be. I couldn't believe it! I felt fine...this isn't happening to me...it can't be! I am 31 years old...I am just getting ready to finally start my life...I am out of school, I have completed all of my degrees to fully qualify me as an educated idiot...but this is insane...it can't be real.

I know what it feels like when you are told something you were not expecting...he told me surgery was necessary and fairly soon. What type? Open heart....you know the kind older people sometimes get...train track scars down your chest, broken sternum...too much...my face got really warm...I was listening, but I really wasn't - it was almost like I went into auto pilot mode...Dr. Shapiro was talking to me, but I really didn't hear him and I didn't really want to. Small snip-its would pop into head - "no surgery, likely possibility of sudden death," "different options...tissue valve versus mechanical," "blood thinners, no children," "tissue valve, limited lifespan," - the poor man...he was talking and I was looking at him, but I just couldn't process it...he looked at me, "any questions?"...I looked at him, "I am sorry....what did you just say?"